Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts

Monday, 18 April 2016

feminism?



There is more difference within the sexes than between them.





Okay first things first, if you are a douchebag then before you read further please close this tab and go watch Pogo. This post contains MY opinion on feminism since I am allowed to have one. You might find statements here that you may have a very sassy comeback to or would like to contradict with but that is absolutely fine because that is YOUR opnion and you are allowed to have it. 

You may find things here which can seem biased or illogical but to defend those I would like to highlight I am not an expert and I have formed these opinions based on my religion, ethnicity and what I have seen around me. Not unlike most people, I have questions I need answers to from all the "self-proclaimed feminists". Most importantly if I am not pro-feminism it doesn't mean that I am an anti-feminist either. I love what those women are doing out there for themselves and other women in society but I just dislike some of the consequences of their work that are being inflicted on the role of a women as a whole.


First and foremost:  What is feminism?
It encompasses a wide range of social, ideological and political movements that aimed to achieve equal political, social, personal, educational and employment opportunities for women in the society. 

But who is our biggest competition? The one we want to measure upto? 

Men.

(Yes I am aware of the fact that besides gender inequality, women suffer from other inequalities based on their race, religion, ethnicity, caste, class, education and so much more.) 

To me it seems like our most common goal is to show the world that not only are females equal to men, they are also better than males. 
Do I support equal pay? 
Absolutely.
Do I think women deserve equal opportunities in every area ( be it education or corporate sector) as men? 
Obviously
Do I think we can be equal to men? 
No ( I am saying men cant be equal to women either)


Now you must be thinking I am an unintelligent ignorant fool with serious conservative inclinations. What would a girl like me know about feminism?
 Well I ask you this then: On what other basis than equal opportunity are we looking for equality in?
 Needless to say that if we could be equal then God wouldn't have created 2 genders. It would have been much easier if he would have created one gender that could have carried out all the different tasks assigned to men and women. 
If we were equal then men could give birth!
They would be able to hold their child inside them for 9 months!
If men and women are equal then why does the society have different labels for people who aren't  heterosexual? 
Men and women are equal right?
So why does it bother people if a guy chooses to be with a guy or a girl with a girl. If we are equal then shouldn't people be able to pick whichever gender they want to be with without dealing with the horrible consequences? What I believe is that men + women= balance. 
Both the genders have traits that the other one cannot measure up to. We need those both traits to create a balance. Even for the lesbian couples who are screaming about feminism all the time, what happens when they wish to have children? 
They need a male donor and vice versa. 

Early marriages.
One of the most common trends in Southeast Asia. Its looked down upon and in some places even mentioning this is a taboo. But I am not talking about  12 year old girls getting married off to 50 year old men or even to boys who are half  their age. Thats another issue in itself entirely.
I am talking about those who get married as soon as they hit the legal age. They are made fun of and looked down upon for having no goal in their life for themselves , choosing to be a house wife instead of a working women and being a typical slave to their husbands and mother-in-laws. However, a few decades later they are highly praised and respected  for taking such good care of their children who grow up to be established Businessmen, Army officers, Doctors and what not. 

The pride of their family. 

I think its totally okay for someone to choose their family over a career. A house wife should be equal to a working women. You cannot choose to stay at home because it will be looked upon as a negative thing and people will think that you are weak and dependent on a man. this results in  you hiring  a maid to look after and clean your house so you can go find a job to show people that you are totally independent. Why would you want to hire a female maid to clean and look after your home ( your house that provides you shelter , comfort and is a happy bonding place for you and your family) when you, yourself refuse to do it becuase its degrading your selfworth? because you are paying her? So if you were paid too, to clean your house you would do it? or is feminism only for women of higher class in society who can afford it?


We arent equal but we need them to acknowledge that we are same in ways that make us different. What we do is as important as what men do. No one needs to put down women for what they do or call them weak because we have our strengths as they have theirs.

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Kiyun k bahu bhi kabi saas banegi



No one ever forgets their first rishta meeting , as with it comes dread, money wasted on food, feeding aunties with extreme love handles , which are too large to handle, awkward conversation and even more awkward moments as well as  strangers which you hate at first sight, intruding into your personal boundaries. Not only this but even attending (read being forcefully black mailed or dragged into) ones relative wedding can be so emotionaly draining. Oh and goodluck if you by mistake sit next to those aunties who will chat ( talk nonsense) to you the entire time you are there and franatically looking for a way to escape:
you look very beautiful, MashAllah!
thankyou Aunty.
What link do you have to these people?
Oh it’s my relatives shaadi, Aunty
Acha…Wait for it.Are you married?Haha, no Aunty ( should have worn a fake ring dammit)Acha… How old are you?
18.
Hmm, you have a little bit of time left.
Didn’t realise I was on the Crystal Maze. 10 seconds left or you will be locked in!
I will pray  that you get married soon!”Don’t you love it when complete strangers pray for you?


(Note: this post in no way intends to bad mouth anyone or anything its just a fun piece, but if your small minded brain cannot understand sarcasam or take a joke lightly, then I am gonna need you to put those remaining brain cells to work and close this tab immediatly so you can  go watch pogo).  

So here are the 7 most common stages of the rishta process every southeast asian girl goes through at some point in her life:


#1 The black book- This is the ultimate weapon you will find in most rishta aunties purses. These books contain never ending list of potential suitors and their contact details along with , what some aunties in the rishta industry conceive to be the fundamentals:

  • Age
  • gender
  • Height
  • caste
  • colour
  • Beard/No Beard
  • Hijab/No Hijab
  • Job/profession

#Noshameintherishtagame










#2: picture perfect-
 A rishta photo is one of the most time taking ( wasting) and annoying  process,which requires time scrolling through all your social media accounts, and sending said photos to your top 3 whatsapp critics for approval.After an initial chat over the phone with the prospect’s mother when you get the thumbs up. Nice family, guy has a good job, has common interests etc etc. now for the prefect rishta photo.
   Fine, send this photo.
   Oh, they have sent 2 photos!
   Sigh* Okay… send 2.





#5- The meet and greet:OMG they like your picture ( for which you used 10 60 watt bulbs to brighten up your face and a beautifying app to look like one of them french girls). And now they want to meet! On the day of the meeting there is a lot of anticipation and nervous pacing up and down the kitchen, looking for pots to fill or plates to lay on the table. Finally, the doorbell rings and the rishta is ushered in along with the third party aunty. they are sitten down in the other room whilst you  frantically try to  do last minute makeup touchups ( what were you thinking, when applying that bright pink lipstick and too much base?). Then you are soon called upon to enter the room with a tray in your hand filled with fat loaded goodies and tea , which takes every muscle in your body to carry and place it on  the table ( or not hurl the entire thing at the aunty's face). You are then to sit besides the aunty and try to practice keeping your fists under controll and any abusive words or sarcastic statements from rolling out in answer to any of her very personal / judgemental questions or remarks ( you can look at your moms new leather shoes with hard soles for motivation to not do anything stupid) 

#6- The Istikhara Ah the most commonly used excuse to reject rishtas. Now you are told by your parents and all those nosiy relatives to do Istikhara until you get a definite or somewhat of an answer. now you can either just make up lies and say you had a horrible nigtmare and can be free again ( where my single ladies at?) or if you think this is the best you are gonna get and besides he looks so much better than your frenemy's fiancee ( just cannot let go of making her jealous can you , you little twat) you say yes. 

#7- Thus begins the year long preparation of your wedding which includes days long shopping trips with your mother in law for the perfect wedding outfit and jewllery ( as well as you trying to keep your shit together when she pics out the ugliest thing you have evern seen and nodes in approval), atleast 6 mehendis , and trips to the salon become a regular part of your monthly routine , the cringing process of the guest invite list, along with a 100 family dramas and what not . Lastly  you trying to loose 50 kg with fast food , crying when you get no results , which results in more fat filled comfort food as tears roll down your eyes while you are venting to your friend on the phone  about how nothing works for your body as you take another bite of your big mac.  






Friday, 15 April 2016

Bon Voyage

                      Your farewell go to guide 



Ah April, the time for goodbyes and new beginings.It would be suffice to say that this is one of the most cruicial month in any high schoolers life as they are bundled up in prevalent amount of emotions. You have your last year examanations just around the corner which will determine what Universaty you have the chances of getting into ( not to forget those many many   letters you still have to write!) oh and the farewell which within it self brings a whole new wave of emotions. But that doesnt mean you cant go out with a bang ;) Its every girls dream ( okay most girls, some just attend for the food and for a cute dp) to look flawless at her farewell, so below are some tips which if performed or use correctly can help you achieve your goal.


1 cloths:
most girls usually just stalk brands online and pick whatever is the hottest iteam of the season but thats where the mishap occures.Every body type is different ( and beautiful)
so there isnt  a good chance  that you can pull of what you see on that model with the perfect height and body shape. To give you an idea what I am trying to say , see for yourself :


Now that you have some sort of sense knocked into you your first step would be to find something that compliments your height , shape and SKIN TONE.


2: Makeup
there is makeup, then there is something called full coverage makeup , and then there is this:




I am going to be completely honest with you guys ,I am not any makeup guru and nor have I  tried any gazaliion makeup brands but usually drug store products do the trick for me. a decent illuminator mixed with foundation , bronzer and highlighter , mascara and eyliner and light lip colour and i good am to go! ( i am all about the natural dewy look). In my opnion makeup should be used to accentuate your already beautiful features and give your confidence a little boost. There is nothing wrong with covering up our flaws but to change your entire face is another thing.But thats just my opnion ofcourse at the end of the day you are your own boss and you would know what suits your face best!






In case you wanted some tips and tricks or just inspiration to help with your overall look these are my ultimate 2 favourite youtubers to get inspiration from :
Carly bybel:
youtube -https://www.youtube.com/user/CarliBel55
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/carlibel/?hl=en

Huda kattan
youtube-https://www.youtube.com/user/hudaheidik
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/hudabeauty/?hl=en


3:Hair

Hair for me is the cruicial part as its the one thing i have most problem styling . I had extremely wavy hair so I got my hair rebonded. the problem with my hair is its get too oily due to the high humidity rate in karachi , so i have to wash them every day which i know is pretty unhealthy but luckily I have a good shampoo that suits my hair. However with getting my hair rebonded it made it very limpy and dead and there is zero volume in them unless i sleep with a top knot over night. Usually girls dont have to worry about their at events like these as they mostly get them done from a professional salon, but one thing to keep in mind is that your chosen hairstyle should compliment your face cut as well as be suitable for the location. By that i mean if you have curly and wavy hair and your hair texture is very hard to straighten or style without a billion products going into it to keep it in shape and your location is outdoors and there are chances of humidity you should probably                      opt for an updo or half updo.


Lastly HAVE FUN and enjoy your evening as its one of the most memorable day of your life and you can either look back at it and cringe about how embarassing you were in highschool and where were your so called friends and why didnt they stop you making  that awful pose in that very public picture.  You will do that anyway ( trust me) so why not just loosen up  and enjoy the night with your squad and take some memorable pictures so your children can look at them in the future and wish to be never seen with you in public ever again.